I Fail

Just like the glowing embers of a fire lit by a lonely Bedouin in the night at a desert, just like the sparkle of countless luminous stars that help navigate a gypsy wandering in the wild, just like the soothing warmth of a bon fire besides a babbling brook in a cold wintery night, just like the blissful laughter of a toddler amazed at the beauty of it’s mother, just like the gentle breeze blowing on a sultry night as the weary traveler gazes the stars above, just like the aroma of the parched earth kissed by the rains, just like the gentle murmur of the river as it meanders its way down from the misty mountains to the thirsty plains, just like the enchanting beauty of the pink azaleas in a humble country home, just like the mesmerizing shimmering moon on the silvery waters of a river even as the boatman hums a song of  love and separation…..………your eyes are all that and more to me!  

I know, I so miserably fail when I try arresting the maddening beauty of your eyes in my words. And for once the failure pleases me!

Dreams and Aspirations

A few days back my dear wife wrote this for me -

I believe in what I read a few days ago – it’s all in the state of mind – sometimes you see a plain glass, sometimes you see myriad hues of the rainbow through the plain glass ! Sometimes you are so content enjoying the aroma of the tea, the lazy afternoons and the running around of the kids in the house but sometimes the same tranquility makes you restless – it makes you want to do something more, may be achieve a little more, maybe you want to make your life a little bit more meaningful !

As a young girl and later as a wife and then as a mother, I was often more than content being the “lynchpin” (as my husband would affectionately address me). Today, I am not content in the same way.

I have my own set of dreams and aspirations. He has his own. Yes, we are supposed to blend these dreams but surely not impose them on each other! It could have been the other way round too. Maybe, I wanted to make it big but because I was willing to sacrifice my career for him, I wanted him to take charge of my ambitions. He had always wanted to write and so I dreamt of him in the league of famous writers. Over the years, I coaxed him, cajoled him, motivated him to write but then he never really wrote. He didn’t write because he was just not passionate about it. It was a dream which was not his own. It was a desire that had been imposed on him! I would feel bad that he was not trying but today the realization dawned on me that that you should follow own dreams.

Today, I promise myself that I will take charge…..that I will not let any opportunity pass, so that as an old lady when I look out of the window and say to myself – I could have been!

(Earlier, i had been fighting a few of my demons. Today, I am fighting a few more! Sigh!)

The Irony and The Indignation

Souls do not indulge in politics. However, I shall for once make an exception.

Pakistan, provides sanctuary to Osama Bin Laden, the most wanted terrorist on earth for years and years altogether until finally Uncle Sam sends his Seals to "smoke him out". And boy what a way to smoke him out !

And here, back home in India, we have people like Afzal Guru, infamous for the Parliament attack (2001) and Ajmal Kasab, infamous for the carnage and mayhem in Mumbai (2008). Both the acts were waging war against the nation read India. However, the nation against whom the war was waged keeps them alive and healthy and in the process spend lakhs in their security.

Stupefying, inexplicable and absolutely foolhardy! Period.

GOOD BYE BROTHER !

NAWANG TOMDEN (JOON)

Born : 17 Apr 1975

Bade the final "Good Bye": 19 Apr 2011

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

Brother, rest in peace !