FUN DAYS AT ANDAMANS

DAY AND NIGHT

The mesmerising sea - a countless shades of blue, the white soft sand, clear skies with a few vagabond clouds drifting away lazily with the bright Sun smiling down. That is the magic of Andamans in the day !

The dark velvety night resplendent with a million twinkling stars, the gentle crash of the surf, the whispering coconut trees, the shimmer of the silvery moon and the soothing silence that lulls you to sleep. That is the magic of Andamans in the night !

A Goodbye to the Maestro

I feel bereaved.

Jagjit Singh Sahib passed away  on 10 Oct 2011.

There is a deluge of  many precious memories....falling in love and listening to Jagjit Sahib's gazals (agar hum kahen aur woh muskura dein..........teri ankhon mein hamne kya dekha) late in the night and then drifting away to sleep - only to rewind the cassette on waking up....quoting from his gazals (ek brahman ne kaha hai yeh saal accha hai...), missing my chidlhood in Arunachal ( woh kagaz ki kashti woh barish ka paani...), when being ribbed by friends (tum bhi mere jaise ban jaoge jab ishq tumhein ho jayega), just sitting with Shoby, my dear room mate and listening to him......... exchanging his albums with Amin bhai.......while being in Lebanon and missing home (hum to hain pardes mein..). The list is endless!

May he rest in peace!

PS - Elsewhere, Steve Jobs, another icon of our times logged out.

May, he too rest in peace!

     

What makes me feel good?

Sitting quietly, sipping lemon tea, soaking in the morning - the dew kissed plants, the gentle warble of the doves, the shepherds herding away their goats to the pastures even as the blue mountains languorously stretch out from the canopy of the clouds. (In sync with nature)

When I sit with my angels and talk about their dreams and about Barbies’ and racing cars. And also about butterflies, the moon and the stars!  (Enjoying the togetherness)

Playing an intense game of badminton, keenly fighting every single point and then deciding to honestly call a sideline shot of my opponent - “in” instead of saying “out”, aware that by doing so I would not only lose the point but the match too. (Being honest)

While getting down from the train, helping  the old couple to alight first  and then assisting them in managing their luggage much to their surprise and gratefulness. (Serving)

When I rustle up a surprise breakfast for my wife or when I leave behind a note that reads “I love you” and in turn feel warm and happy, seeing the smile on her face. (Loving)

When I appreciate my men for a good job done and shake their hands warmly and in turn feel humbled with their appreciation that’s conveyed by their misty eyes. (Genuine appreciation)

When I see, Shadow, my dog wagging its tail when I am at the door and then seeing it jump up to give a slurp or two to my face. (Devotion)

When, I am running the odd 5km trying to better my timing and my heart tells me to just forget it and give up and yet a tiny resolve within me refuses to die and I lengthen my strides and manage to shave off a few seconds.  (Determination)

When, I know fully well that my views on the issue are not in consonance with those of my boss and yet I choose to articulate it much to his annoyance and discomfiture. (Speaking my mind)

When I feel like shouting at Rahul seeing him trying to finish his homework before the school van arrives (realising that he could have easily finished it last night had he not watched Jhansi ki Rani) and instead check my temper and write it for him as he wolves down his breakfast. (Managing anger)

When, I feel like pushing out the guy who is fiddling with the ATM for ages while I stand out baking in the Sun and instead use my time to clear away the junk from the inbox of my cell phone and mouth a polite “it’s alright” to him when he passes me by, by saying “sorry, thodi der lag gayi”.   (Patience)

Dreams

What do you say when someone adopts your dream as his own and engineers it for you ?

I call it love!

Expectations

“I am not in this world to live up to other people’s expectations, nor do I feel that the world must live up to mine.” - Fritz Perls     

The moment we attain the age when we are able to comprehend, we are saddled with expectations;  expectations, that are both – tangible and intangible. As a child we are expected to be - “good children”, when we join schools and colleges, we are expected to be - “good students” and are expected to be “good citizens”, in future. In our personal lives, we are expected to be good sons/daughters/husbands/wives etc. Similarly, in our professional lives we are expected to be good employees/managers and what have you. Gradually, the weight of expectations bogs us down and we start evaluating ourselves on a yardstick that is calibrated on a scale that ranges from meeting zero to hundred per cent of what others expect from us.

Somewhere down the line, while endeavouring to meet others expectations, we gradually start expecting from others – expectations of love, care, affection, favours, appreciation, compliments etc. Again our expectations are both – tangible and intangible.

Thus the vicious cycle perpetrates!  

Such a situation impels us to align our efforts and to channelize our energy to meet the expectations of others and not to surpass them. This leads to mediocrity. This also leads to heartburn, angst and disappointment which in turn ushers in pain and the resultant suffering.

The day we free others from matching our expectations, we shall be at peace and happy. And what is more we shall also make others – happy and at peace with themselves!

The Quest

Asatoma Sadgamaya
Tamso Ma Jjyotir Gamaya
Mrityor Ma Amrutaam Gamaya
Om Shanti Shanti Shanti
               -A Vedic Chant

(Lead me from the unreal to the real.
Lead me from darkness to light.
Lead me from death to immortality.
May there be peace, peace and peace -everywhere)

                        May God guide us to find our calling!

                        (photograph - courtesy Ian Macdonald - www.youthblog.org)

The Silence

A seed silently sprouts in to a large banyan tree. The Sun, the Moon, the stars and the planets silently go about their ways heralding in nights, days, seasons, months and years. Silence portrays ones quiet strength that moves the mountains.

Such is the beauty of silence!

Silence is infinitely eloquent. No wonder it makes a deafening statement.

Realization

There are no mistakes in life; only lessons. Lessons to learn from. Lessons to draw strength from. And to draw wisdom.

Anger and resentment corrode the heart that harbours them. Why then should I cling to them? It is time to let go and move on.

Words hurt the most. They singe the heart and bruise the soul. Hence, I must always use my words carefully and thoughtfully.

Reflections

I am human. I am imperfect. Hence, I have no right to seek perfection in others. At the best, I can strive for achieving perfection for self and try to come as close to it as I can.

Hurt is best handled by forgiving and forgetting. Forgiving is easier. Forgetting takes some time. I have realized that if I find it difficult to forget, it means that I have not forgiven completely and still have a wedge stuck in my heart. Hence, if I want to be at peace with myself, I must go back and un - wedge myself.    

Expectations are the harbingers of pain. The day I free others from matching my expectations, I shall be at peace and happy. I know I shall also make others happy.  

Happy Holidays

Holidays are refreshing.
Holidays are rejuvenating.
Holidays are cathartic.

Tere utaare hue din....

The class of Gulzar Sahib!

My Moon

My moon stands up there in the sky showering its balmy silvery rays.

Dark clouds occasionally envelope it but my moon remains the same – eternal, ethereal, magical and pure!

My moon stands up there in the sky showering its balmy silvery rays..................

I Fail

Just like the glowing embers of a fire lit by a lonely Bedouin in the night at a desert, just like the sparkle of countless luminous stars that help navigate a gypsy wandering in the wild, just like the soothing warmth of a bon fire besides a babbling brook in a cold wintery night, just like the blissful laughter of a toddler amazed at the beauty of it’s mother, just like the gentle breeze blowing on a sultry night as the weary traveler gazes the stars above, just like the aroma of the parched earth kissed by the rains, just like the gentle murmur of the river as it meanders its way down from the misty mountains to the thirsty plains, just like the enchanting beauty of the pink azaleas in a humble country home, just like the mesmerizing shimmering moon on the silvery waters of a river even as the boatman hums a song of  love and separation…..………your eyes are all that and more to me!  

I know, I so miserably fail when I try arresting the maddening beauty of your eyes in my words. And for once the failure pleases me!

Dreams and Aspirations

A few days back my dear wife wrote this for me -

I believe in what I read a few days ago – it’s all in the state of mind – sometimes you see a plain glass, sometimes you see myriad hues of the rainbow through the plain glass ! Sometimes you are so content enjoying the aroma of the tea, the lazy afternoons and the running around of the kids in the house but sometimes the same tranquility makes you restless – it makes you want to do something more, may be achieve a little more, maybe you want to make your life a little bit more meaningful !

As a young girl and later as a wife and then as a mother, I was often more than content being the “lynchpin” (as my husband would affectionately address me). Today, I am not content in the same way.

I have my own set of dreams and aspirations. He has his own. Yes, we are supposed to blend these dreams but surely not impose them on each other! It could have been the other way round too. Maybe, I wanted to make it big but because I was willing to sacrifice my career for him, I wanted him to take charge of my ambitions. He had always wanted to write and so I dreamt of him in the league of famous writers. Over the years, I coaxed him, cajoled him, motivated him to write but then he never really wrote. He didn’t write because he was just not passionate about it. It was a dream which was not his own. It was a desire that had been imposed on him! I would feel bad that he was not trying but today the realization dawned on me that that you should follow own dreams.

Today, I promise myself that I will take charge…..that I will not let any opportunity pass, so that as an old lady when I look out of the window and say to myself – I could have been!

(Earlier, i had been fighting a few of my demons. Today, I am fighting a few more! Sigh!)

The Irony and The Indignation

Souls do not indulge in politics. However, I shall for once make an exception.

Pakistan, provides sanctuary to Osama Bin Laden, the most wanted terrorist on earth for years and years altogether until finally Uncle Sam sends his Seals to "smoke him out". And boy what a way to smoke him out !

And here, back home in India, we have people like Afzal Guru, infamous for the Parliament attack (2001) and Ajmal Kasab, infamous for the carnage and mayhem in Mumbai (2008). Both the acts were waging war against the nation read India. However, the nation against whom the war was waged keeps them alive and healthy and in the process spend lakhs in their security.

Stupefying, inexplicable and absolutely foolhardy! Period.

GOOD BYE BROTHER !

NAWANG TOMDEN (JOON)

Born : 17 Apr 1975

Bade the final "Good Bye": 19 Apr 2011

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

Brother, rest in peace !

Rejoicing In My Thraldom

Last night, I dreamt of you and me together....

I saw places that I often conjure up in my mind.....a log cabin, somewhere up there in the misty mountains, a few cirrus clouds wafting by close; so close that you can stretch and caress their gentle softness, the dusk fast approaching even as the birds circle their way back to their roosts - somewhere in the dim distant horizon, a gentle breeze, my ally that she is, buffets a few truant locks on to your face and brings me your maddening fragrance.....I stand mesmerised beside you - blessed and rejoicing in my thraldom....

Last night, I dreamt of you and me together.....